I tried to throw myself a pity party this afternoon. I tried really hard. But, it just wouldn’t take. As soon as I started belting out my grievances, Spirit stepped in and I heard, “you’re saying this about other people, what about YOU?” Ugh.
What I took this to mean was that once again I was projecting my frustration with how I was feeling, and assigning the responsibility to someone besides me.
I’m also reminded that people treat us as we allow them to, how we “train” them to treat us.
How do we “train” them? They can observe how we treat ourselves and make some assumptions. They also learn from past interactions. If we allow disrespect to go unchecked, what message do we send? That respect isn’t required. Boundaries, clear and spoken, allow relationships to work for both parties. It also keeps us accountable to ourselves.
My initial feelings or grievances were related to how I show up for others, and they rarely show up for me. Am I showing up for myself? Hmmm, going to have to sit with that one.
If I’m being honest, there are plenty of times when I don’t show up for myself. When I accept less than I want, or when I put others before me.
Is my frustration with others, or is it with myself? I think it’s both, and if I’m the one to show others how to treat me, and I’m doing anything less than behaving or communicating authentically, what should I expect from others? I need to own my part, accept and forgive myself for not showing up for myself, and consider that it’s not up to others to behave how I wish them to behave. Especially if I haven’t modeled the behavior I desire, or if I haven’t set a clear boundary and expectation.
The only way I know how to get out of this is through accepting how I’m feeling, recognizing my POWER in this situation…I’m not helpless. I can pivot and behave differently. I can pivot and communicate more clearly. I can pivot into a place of “OK, I’m not feeling 100%, but it’s not like everything is terrible.” I’m feeling a pain point – a place where I can use some healing. And ain’t nobody gonna heal me, except for me!
My afternoon plans have shifted from pity party to presence and acceptance. That’s as far as I’m going to get today, and yet, it feels pretty significant and like it’s a good step in shaking things up, in my favor.
Remember that the pain points usually hold valuable information for us, and help plot a path forward towards our own healing.