The Gift in Vulnerability

beauty in vulnerability

Wow, did I wake up with a Vulnerability Hangover, and it kicked my butt! What’s a Vulnerability Hangover? I’ll tell ya…when you share something that really, truly, honestly matters to you…with someone who really, truly, honestly matters to you, you are oozing vulnerability.

Best case scenario, your message is received as intended, and you feel supported. Good news, that’s what I experienced. There was some discomfort on my part, because as much as I kick ass in the being authentic department…it still feels different when you go from authenticity into vulnerability.

OK, message received, healthy conversation was had, I went to bed feeling like we had shared a mindful, meaningful, and soulful exchange. Yay! And then I woke up the next morning. No yay.

I felt off center, I knew I was off. I could feel some weird anxiety energy, and let me tell you, I’m not an anxious person by nature. Everything was sort of putting me off, I was reading way too much into things, and I mean taking everything personally. Ewwww.

Vulnerability is beautiful. It’s authentic and raw. And it can throw you back on your heels. Oh, all the feels. Yikes! So what’s a vulnerable mama to do…I recognized I was gunking up my own juju. I knew I was off, and I knew why. I decided I had to break out of it.

I pulled back and reminded myself to be an observer, without judgement, of the weirdo feelings that were flashing over me. I knew this was temporary. I knew this was a fear reaction, and not something I needed to fall into and wallow in. I decided I wasn’t going to take things personally or create silly scenarios in my head.

I turned off my phone, focused on a project that was technically about to be overdue, and decided denying my
feelings wasn’t the answer, but putting my focus elsewhere was. After some time occupying my time with a task, I noticed my breathing was normal, my energy was less funky, and I was coming back to myself.

After awhile, I turned my phone back on (I do have clients, after all!) and returned to my task. Within a few moments, the receiver of my vulnerabilty called. As soon as I heard his voice, I knew I was back home, back in my body, back in my authenticity, and out of my tailspin.

It wasn’t him – it was me, recognizing that I had spiraled briefly, but here was this reminder from the Universe of who I was, the reality of my relationship, and the realization that I don’t always have to be the strong one, the right one, the one with all the answers. It’s OK to be vulnerable. In fact, it’s pretty beautiful.

Vulnerability is healthy, and like any muscle in your body, it gets stronger the more you use it.

rosalie brown

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